game over

i don't remember when was the last day that the idea of putting and end to my life didn't show up. all i can recall is that, the first time it did, i knew it was going to be a hard one to get out. now i think i completely lost track. after spending another night with no sleep and thirty minutes in the shower crying my lungs out,

i've made my room dark, because i don't want to face today... so i pretend it's still before dawn.

reasons abound. and it's a disappointing never-ending circle which surrounds me: my carrier, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my apartment, my health, myself. people keep trying to make me see thing's bright side but, as i dig deeper, it gets harder and harder. when is it going to stop?